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April 29, 2013: Columbus, Ohio
Opening Match: Triple Threat Match between Big E Langston (with AJ and Dolph Ziggler), Zeb Coulter (with Jack Swagger) and Ricardo Rodriguez (with Alberto Del Rio)
Ricardo and Big E start. Big E dominates, then misses a charge to the corner. Zeb steps in to double team with Ricardo, but Big E lays out Ricardo. Zeb fakes a knee injury, then Alberto sneaks in and kicks Big E in the face. Dolph runs in and throws out Alberto. Jack does the same to Dolph. Big E clotheslines Jack out of the ring and Zeb attempts to pin Ricardo. AJ jumps in and stops the ref’s count. Zeb argues with the ref and Ricardo rolls him up from behind for the three count.
Match: Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes and his Love ‘Stache of Jobbery
Long match with Orton mostly in charge the first half. Rhodes gets the advantage late in the match and makes several pin attempts. The two battle back and forth until Orton superflexes Rhodes off the top rope. Orton follows up with his signature moves, then Rhodes counters an RKO attempt with the Cross Rhodes. Cody then attempts a Disaster Kick but Orton counters with the RKO and gets the win.
Match: Brie Bella (with Nikki) vs. Naomi (with fellow Funkadactyl Cameron)
Nikki does the Switcheroo with Brie as the ref is distracted and gets the pin. Cameron then complains to the ref, and he awards the match to Naomi. The Divas then brawl in the ring, and the Bellas leave the Funkadactyls laying.
Promo: The Shield comes to the ring to reflect on their evil deeds. 3MB come out and brawling ensues. Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan) then come out and The Shield bails. Hell No settles for destroying 3MB instead.
Match: World Champ Dolph Ziggler (with AJ and Big E) vs. US Champ Kofi Kingston
Fast-paced match with plenty of kicks to the face. Kofi sets up Dolph for Trouble in Paradise but Dolph ducks the attack and snares Kofi in a sick DDT. Kofi later downs Dolph with a roundhouse kick but AJ pulls Dolph’s leg over the rope. As the ref yells at AJ, Big E pulls Dolph out of the ring to revive him, and then Kofi takes him out with a cross body dive. Kofi pulls Dolph back in the ring, then jumps on the corner for a reverse Frog Splash. Dolph slips out of the way and hits Kofi with the Zig Zag for the win.
Backstage: AJ and Kaitlyn trade barbs, then Kaitlyn gets a spiked hat from a secret admirer. Vikki and Brad propose that Ryback team with Hell No instead of John Cena against The Shield, as Cena’s currently recovering from an ankle injury. Ryback growls “no” and leaves.
Match: Jack Swagger (with Anne Coulter’s grandpa Zeb) vs. Zack Ryder, who didn’t spike his hair. Guess he didn’t take care.
Swagger dominates most of the match and flattens the Broski with two Swagger Bombs. As he delivers a third, Zack counters with boots to Jack’s face. Zack has a short rally, then Jack gets in a Reverse Gut Wrench and Patriot Lock for the win.
Backstage: Matt Stryker tries to interview Ryback, but it looks like he’s leaving the building.
Tug-of-War contest: Mark Henry beats Sweet T (Tensai), then does the same to Brodus Clay. Seamus then challenges Henry. The Celtic Warrior almost gets pulled over the line, then lets go of the rope and Henry falls. When Henry gets back up, Seamus clocks him with the Brogue Kick.
Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro
Del Rio and Cesaro wrestle old school with arm bars. Cesaro gets the upper hand with European Uppercuts and the two exchange some near falls. Del Rio wins with the Cross Arm Breaker. After the match, Del Rio announces that the stipulation for Extreme Rules will be a Triple Threat Ladder Match.
Dance-Off: Fandango vs. The Great Khali (Why oh God Why???) with Jerry Lawler officiating
Khali starts off with Talia, which looks as stupid as it sounds. Fandango then competently dances with Summer Rae. The audience cheers more for Khali to get the win. Fandango clips Khali from behind, then drops a leg off the top rope on the Punjabi Playboy.
Closing Match: John Cena and Team Hell No vs. The Shield
After the opening brawl, Kane starts with Ambrose and dominates all three Shieldsters. He is about to choke slam the ref when Cena tags in. Cena can’t contribute much due to his hurt ankle, so Kane and Bryan tag in and out and dominate early. The Shieldees take turns beating up on Bryan, until he makes the comeback and tags in Kane. Kane throws Ambrose out, Ambrose taunts Kane, then gets sucker choke-slammed. Kane tags in Cena, who then cleans up on Reigns. He attempts to give Reigns an AA, but his ankle gives out and he collapases. Reigns then nails Cena with a Spear for the win.