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June 3, 2013: Hartford, Connecticut
Opening Promo: Stephanie McMahon returns to RAW. She tells the audience she won’t allow Triple H, her husband, to go against Curtis Axel tonight. The audience boos, and she tells them to stop being so selfish.
Suddenly, WWE Overlord Mr. McMahon struts to the ring. He asks the audience not to boo his daughter. He tells them HHH isn’t healthy enough to wrestle tonight. The audience yells HHH’s name, and Vince becomes angry. He tells them WWE is not a “blood sport.” Then, the radio calls echo throughout the venue as The Shield makes their entrance through the audience. Cole pleads for the McMahons to leave. After commercial break, it turns out to be sound and fury, signifying nothing. It was just the opening segment for…
6-man Tag Team Match: The Shield vs. Randy Orton and Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan)
Bryan and Kane start off beating up on Ambrose. Rollins tags in, and gets double-teamed frequently by Bryan and Kane. Then Kane goes to the top corner rope, and Reigns distracts him, allowing Rollins to dropkick Kane off his perch. The Shield then beat up on Kane while Cole gets all excited about Twitter again. Orton gets a hot tag, and gets a double DDT off the second rope on Rollins and Ambrose. As he tries the same move on Reigns, Rollins kicks him in the occipital protuberance, to quote Gorilla Monsoon.
The Shield beat up on Orton for 15 minutes, then Bryan tags in and goes high-flyin’ goat-rage berzerk on Ambrose. Rollins tries to sneak in an attack from the top corner, but Bryan jumps up and gives him a Hurricarana on top of Ambrose. Bryan then bounces off the ropes and dives through the other side to goat-butt Reigns. He then missile dropkicks Ambrose and gets him in the Yes Lock, but Shield breaks it up. A brawl ensues, the ring gets cleared, and Ambrose takes out Bryan with the face-front DDT for the win.
Tag Team Match: The Usos vs. The Prime Time Players
The Usos come out doing their war haka, having painted their faces with spiky designs. Titus gives the Big Boot to Jay and barks like a gorilla dog. The Playahs work on Jimmy for a while until Tie misses a charge. Jay tags in and gives Young a Rikishi butt splash. The Usos go on to take him out with a Superfly Frog Splash for the win.
Another Rubber Match: Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Big E Langston (with AJ Lee)
Langston’s brute strength counters Alberto’s high flying moves, but Alberto eventually gains the advantage and gets Big E in the Cross-Arm Breaker. Big E does the Goldberg lift and puts him over the top rope. Del Rio slaps the Cross-Arm Breaker on him again, then rolls him over for a surprise three count.
Match: Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes
In a telling bit of irony, JBL says that Three-Card Monte is a work. Cole says, “It is?” The announcers squabble about shell games for a bit, then JBL tells them “Roller Derby’s real too, guys.”
Damian Sandow joins the announcers and pontificates the eternal struggle between brains and brawn. Cody has the upper hand on Sheamus for much of the match. Sheamus hulks up and gets off his Celtic Warrior move set, but misses a Brogue Kick. Rhodes misses the Cross Roads. Sheamus plants White Noise on Cody, then connects a Brogue Kick for the win. Sandow says Sheamus’s victory “causes the WWE Universe to drink from the trough of ignorance.”
Match: Fandango (with Summer Rae) vs. The Great Khali (with Natalya and Hornswoggle)
Like every Khali match, it starts off with two pancake slaps to Fandango’s chest. Fandango charges into Khali’s clotheslines, then bails out of the ring. As he and Summer go up the ramp, The Miz shows up to head him off, not realizing Wade Barrett is behind him. Miz turns and gets pasted with the Bullhammer.
Match: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett
After commercial break, Miz is getting his ass handed to him by Barrett. The action spills out of the ring as Miz sells grogginess from getting bullhammered. Back in the ring, Barrett takes Miz down with the Winds of Change, then Fandango’s music plays as he and Summer come out dancing. Barrett is angry with their arrival. The distraction allows Miz to trap him in the Figure Four Leglock for the win.
Divas Match: The Bella Twins and AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn and The Funkadactyls (Cameron and Namoi)
Naomi tries to cross-body Nikki and gets hung up on the ropes. The Bellas beat on her for 15 minutes, then she hot-tags Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn bullies Bree around and throws her into Nikki, knocking her off the ring. AJ laughs at this. Bree tries to tag in AJ, but she jumps off the ring, like the Bellas did to her a few weeks ago. Kaitlyn then spears Bree for the win.
Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback
Backstage, Bryan has been whining about being called “Weak Link,” and wants to prove he isn’t. Ryback says Bryan won’t be the Weak Link any more. because after tonight he’ll be “The Missing Link.”
Bryan starts with kicks to Ryback’s leg. Ryback counters Bryan’s submission maneuvers with brute strength. After stomping Bryan, Ryback goes for the Lou Thesz Press, but Bryan reverses it into an Indian Death Lock. Bryan dominates until Ryback meathooks him out of the ring.
After commercial break, Ryback is pounding on Bryan and Chickenwings him. Ryback misses a charge, and Bryan retaliates with charging and missile dropkicks. He then flies ¾ of the ring and goatbutts Ryback for a nearfall. Ryback reverses a dropkick into a power bomb. He goes for another one, and Bryan reverses it into the No Lock. Ryback reaches the ropes and falls out of the ring. Bryan flies through the ropes and Ryback throws him into the announcer table. Ryback then gets a table and powerbombs Bryan through it. Bryan gets the DQ win.
No Disqualifications Match: John Cena vs. Curtis Axel (with Paul Heyman)
Cena is about to smash Axel off the ropes, but Heyman does a Gary Hart boot grab and trips Cena. Axel gets the upper hand, and Heyman brings in a chair. Axel misses a couple attacks with the chair, and Cena dropkicks it into Axel face. Axel counters a Cena charge and stomps on him. He puts Cena’s arm in a grapevine as Heyman grins.
Cena comes back with shoulder tackles and the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. He charges Axel in the corner and hits the chair instead. He almost gets counted out and crawls back in. Axel lays him out with the chair. He pounds Cena with the chair repeatedly and then crack’s Cena’s head on it with a Swinging Neckbreaker. He gets Cena ready for the Fisherman’s Suplex, but Cena counters it into an STF. Heyman grabs a laptop and Axel smacks Cena in the head with it. He throws Cena out of the ring and goes after him, but Cena traps him on this shoulders, ready to deliver the Attitude Adjustment. He then notices the table Ryback had propped up against the guardrail earlier…
Heyman panics and begs Cena not to AA Axel through the table. Cena drops Axel and goes after Heyman. Ryback then shows up and ambushes Cena. He picks Cena up and charges through the table with him. The ref counts Cena out and Axel gets the win.